Don't you hate it when the Internet makes your PHP run slow? I do. Props to Andrew Lindeman for sending this snippet in. I trimmed it to reduce the boring.

This code checks the status of a bunch of Diablo II game servers and generates a pretty table that shows a server's status. Unfortunately the code runs really, really slow. Damn the Internet!

<style type="text/css">
<!--
...
-->
</style>
<p align="center" class="style1">Overall PKA Server Status</p>
<table width="100%" border="0" align="center" cellspacing="0">
 <tr bordercolor="#990000" bgcolor="#990000">
   <td><strong>Diablo II Realms </strong></td>
   <td bgcolor="#FF0000"><span class="style5">Status</span></td>
   <td bgcolor="#660000"><strong>Diablo II Game Servers 1 </strong></td>
   <td bgcolor="#660000"> </td>
   <td bgcolor="#660000"><span class="style6">Diablo II Game Servers 2 </span></td>
   <td bgcolor="#660000"> </td>
 </tr>
 <tr>
   <td width="172">Diablo II  Open Server is :</td>
   <td width="121"><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("bnet.pkaclan.com","6112")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
...
 </tr>
 <tr>
   <td>PKA Realm is :</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("bnet.pkaclan.com","6113")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td>D2GS PKA1.1(Soulzek):</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("68.56.114.98","4000")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td> </td>
   <td> </td>
 </tr>
 <tr>
   <td>PvP Realm is :</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("bnet.pkaclan.com","7113")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td>D2GS PvP1.09(<SPAN class=postbody>Shiznoo</SPAN>):</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("141.158.150.28","4000")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td> </td>
   <td> </td>
 </tr>
 <tr>
   <td>Ancestrall Recall Realm is :</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("bnet.pkaclan.com","8113")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td>D2GS AR1.10(Wallbot):</td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("wow.pkaclan.com","4000")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td> </td>
   <td> </td>
 </tr>
 <tr>
   <td>Hell Unleashed Realm is : </td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("bnet.pkaclan.com","9113")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td>D2GS HU1.10 (Gnecromancer): </td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("24.71.57.148","4000")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
   <td>D2GS HU1.10 (D2Classic): </td>
   <td><?php
if ($fp = @fsockopen("69.133.108.231","4000")) { echo "<img src=images/open.gif>"; } else { echo "<img src=images/closed.gif>"; }
?></td>
 </tr>
 <tr bgcolor="#990000">
... more of the same ...

Jumping in and out of HTML in PHP is a fundamental part of the language but what if you didn't know that? What if you wanted PHP to generate some nicely formatted HTML? Props to Thiemo Mättig for sending in this WTF.

This is probably the most 'clever' way of adding in tabs and new lines to format HTML.

and a little furthur...